Newspaper Headlines

Created: 2002.02.14

The following are all true newspaper headlines or news cast quotes.

  • British left waffles on Falkland Islands
  • Clinton wins budget; more lies ahead
  • Couple slain; Police suspect Homicide
  • Drunks get nine months in violin case
  • If strike isn't settled quickly, it may last a while
  • Include your children when baking cookies
  • Iraqi head seeks arms
  • Juvenile court to try shooting defendant
  • Kids make nutritious snacks
  • Local High School dropout cut in half.
  • Man struck by lightning faces battery charge
  • Miners refuse to work after death
  • New study of obesity looks for larger test group
  • Panda mating fails; Veterinarian takes over
  • Plane does not crash until it hits ground expert explains
  • Plane too close to ground, crash probe told
  • Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
  • Something went wrong in Jet crash, experts say
  • Stolen painting found by tree
  • Teacher strikes idle kids
  • The man was either shot by someone else, shot himself or was shot by accident, say investigator at scene of shooting crime
  • Two sisters reunited after 18 years in checkout counter
  • War dims hope for peace
  • “Photos By Madman” takes top honors (Ok, so it isn't funny, but it is a real newspaper headline so I decided to throw it in here)
  • And here's one from an instruction manual for a hammock: May require people to assemble not to exceed 400 lbs.

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