Did you hear about the experienced new employee?
A few weeks after a young man had been employed; he was called into the Human Resources administrator's office. "What is the meaning of this?" the personnel officer asked. "When you applied for this job, you told us you had three years experience. Now I have discovered this is the first position you've ever held."
"True," the young man answered with a smile, "in your advertisement you said you wanted a person with imagination."
Unintentional yet funny gaffs from real job application forms At times I've been tempted to alter them to make them funnier, but I have resisted the urge.
- "I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant."
- "Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far."
- "As indicted, I have over five years of analyzing investments."
- "Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store."
- "Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I have never quit a job."
- "Marital status: often. Children: various."
- "Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 am every morning. I couldn't work under those conditions." (This was in the pre COVID-19 era.)
- "The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers.
- "Finished eighth in my class of ten."
- "References: none. I've left a path of destruction behind me."